Razor Gang

Most mornings, about half the population takes a thin blade of sharpened steel and scrapes it across their throat, over the Adam’s apple and down to where the neck adjoins the torso.

These people are a captive market – paying through the nose to shave all round it.

Less frequently, women also take a razor to their body parts – but either way, we all pay a premium for the privilege.

The two companies which dominate razor sales in New Zealand supermarkets, unabashedly target blokes and, it seems, stereoptypical blokes, obsessed by automobiles and things mechanical.

For their morning shave, men may grip the handle of a Fusion from Gillette or, if that fails to cut your crop there’s always the Proglide from the same manufacturer….or the Mach 3, which they claim was the first three bladed razor when it was introduced in 1998.

Gillette’s major competition, Schick, hits the chin line with the Quattro, a tag also used by a European car manufacturer and, can  provide a Quattro Power and, for advanced users only, a Quattro Titanium Power razor. The Quattro Midnight and Quattro Chrome are models with redesigned handles and different color schemes from the original Quattro.

I’m just disappointed they couldn’t squeeze “turbo” in there somewhere. I loved L’Oreal’s Turbo Booster Hydra Electric Men Export model….which sounds like it would be found in the crankcase of a Formula One racing car but is, in fact, a post shave moisturizer.

And what about the blokes who aren’t moved to reach for their wallets at the mention of  automotive parts? Does either manufacturer do a Tui 2….or Kauri 4 range? No – but then the tree hugger market share must be way down there anyway, so what’s the point?  I presume that there’s no Mohammad 3 razor range being marketed in muslim countries for the same reason.

Razor blade marques come with their own handle which doesn’t fit other blades – including those from the same manufacturer. After a few months using one blade it seems, that blade will be discontinued and a new one introduced, normally suffixed by the digit 3, 4 or 5 to denote the number of blades, and a new handle, which doesn’t fit the discontinued blade range. The sharp end of corporate consumerism.

Womens’ razors, made by the same people, use similar marketing modus operandi. Pink handles predominate. Small wonder that a recent survey of supermarket shoplifting, identified them as the item most stolen….the consumer fighting back maybe? Shavers of the world unite?

In 2005, the Connecticut Court upheld an injunction by Wilkinson Sword, owners of the Schick brand, who determined that Gillette's claims were both "unsubstantiated and inaccurate" and that the product demonstrations in Gillette's advertising were "greatly exaggerated" and "literally false". US fair trading officials are investigating alleged collusion between manufacturers and retailers in setting prices.

The Daily Mail in the U.K, reported that the Fusion range of blades cost only 10 cents each to manufacture, yet sell for up to $4.70, a mark-up of more than 4.750%. All the commercial razor cartridges cost around $4 - 6 and come with lavish plastic packaging to be discarded after use. Worse assaults on the environment are committed by their disposable supermarket shelf mates.

Some form of shaving has been practiced by different cultures for centuries. Before the advent of razors, facial hair was sometimes removed using two shells as pincers to pull the hair out. Around 3000 BC, when copper tools were developed, copper razors came into play and the idea of an aesthetic approach to personal hygiene may have begun at this time.

Alexander the Great reportedly promoted shaving during his reign in the 4th century BC to avoid "dangerous beard-grabbing in combat", and because he believed it looked tidier….the beard grabbing bit may explain the stubbly chins  favoured by modern rugby players.

From plucking hair with shells, menkind moved to cut-throat razors and, in some parts of the Kiwi male demographic the sinister looking long blades are making a comeback. “A lot of young guys don’t even own shaving gear,” Joanne tells me at my local barber shop,” they just come in once a week for a razor shave.”

I expected her to come out wielding something that looked like a scaled down cutlass but:”no,” she laughed, ”we use disposable cut throat razors these days and change them for every patron – to comply with health and safety rules.”

“Using a cut throat razor is still part of a barber’s apprenticeship – but not everybody keeps the skills up. Dad told me that the best shave he ever had was from a blind barber using a cut throat on the street in Bombay,” she added.

Barbers once doubled as surgeons and the traditional barbers’ pole – red for blood, blue for veins and white for bandages – is the last remnant of that tradition.

The daily razor ritual is almost exclusively a male preserve – one of the few men only traditions left – but doesn’t seem to provoke screams from outraged feminists like other male only pastimes. Whisker envy doesn’t seem to stir the same high emotion as the alleged resentment caused by other male protuberances.

But growing a beard may be the best way consumers have of striking back at global capitalism.